The Girl Who People Recommend

Down the Drain

Today I dropped my keys in the sewer. This is particularly ironic because my buddy, who was staying at my place two weeks earlier, left me a message one day in a panic after dropping my house keys in the sewer. However, her experience tipped me off to a soluation. I immediately called the people who came to her rescue- my next street over neighbors. Apparently one of them managed to pull the cover off the manhole and dig the keys out.

‘If he can do it, I can do it,” I figured. So, after rolling my pants up and putting my galoshes on, I marched down the stairs and proceeded to lace my fingers through the metal grate.

Fuck yes, I did it. I did it all by myself.

The problem wasn’t removing the manhole lid, it was getting the keys out of the slimy, gooey heap of muddy leaves piled at the base. Jumping in wasn’t an option. I was a little worried the world would pull a ‘Goonie’s’ on me and I would end up jumping into a booby trap of a bottomless pit.

I tried a cane, an old man’s cane, but it was too thick to slip through the keychain. Then I tried an umbrella, but it wasn’t long enough to latch the keys. Then, as I was about to ducktape two hangers to the end of an old plastic pirate sword, I saw it; A tall, thin metal rod with a hook on it at the back of my closet.

Sometimes life just gives you what you need.